Church Etiquette

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When we enter an Orthodox church for any service, but especially for the Divine Liturgy, we enter a space that is used for a particular purpose. The church is the space where the faithful gather to liturgize as a community, to do its common work, and make real the Kingdom of God. It is important that this holy place is honored by our attentiveness to what is proper. Remembering that each of us is a member of Christ’s body and bear His image, we should reflect that image of Christ within us by our actions. “You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation” (Peter 2:9).

 

This guide is meant for personal reflection and not as a means of judging others. Keep in mind that there are different traditions even among the Orthodox faithful. We come to church to pray and worship God above all else, and that should be our only focus.  While the following references the Divine Liturgy, it should be noted that proper etiquette is be applied to all the Divine Services of the Church.

 

Entering the Church

The Orthodox Divine Liturgy begins when the priest intones, “Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” It is important to arrive early enough to be there for, and to receive, this blessing.  Arriving well in advance of the start of the service is good practice to get into. Doing so gives one time to get settled, to acclimate themselves to their surroundings, and to prepare oneself to offer themselves wholly in prayer. 

 

Arriving late without due cause is always inappropriate. Arriving late causes distraction and is inconsiderate to everyone else. The same can be said for leaving services early. Some rules of thumb: those who arrive late, especially after the reading of Scripture (epistle and gospel readings), should generally refrain from partaking of the Eucharist that day. Proper preparation for Holy Communion requires that you are at the Divine Liturgy from the beginning. Also, if you arrive late, you should refrain from venerating icons or lighting candles in the front of the church so as to not distract others from prayer nor draw undue attention to oneself.

 

If an occasional problem occurs and you have to come in late, enter the church and take your place among the faithful reverently without drawing attention to yourself. The times in which you should wait in the back of the church, or the narthex, before entering include: when the Little or Great Entrance is taking place, when the priest or deacon is censing or giving the sermon, and when the Epistle or Gospel is being read. We should not enter or exit the church during from the time we sing the Creed through the singing of the Hymn to the Theotokos (most Sundays this hymn is It is Truly Meet; during Great Lent All of Creation Rejoices; during the Paschal season The Angel Cried). 

 

Standing in Church

It is the custom of Orthodox Christians to stand throughout the services of the Church. This is because the traditional posture for prayer and worship in the Orthodox Church is standing.  If you need to sit during the Divine Liturgy, remember to stand at these times: when the Liturgy begins; during the Little and Great Entrances; when the priest gives a blessing; when the priest or deacon is censing the icons and the faithful; during the Gospel reading; at the Anaphora; for Holy Communion; and at the final Blessing. A general rule of thumb is that you may sit when the priest sits. Whenever a hierarch is visiting the parish, out of respect follow his example and stand and sit when he does. 

 

Lighting of Candles

It is a pious Orthodox tradition to light candles for personal petitions and intercessions when entering the church and venerating the icons. Most parishes have designated candle stands or holders for these candles. It is not proper to light candles at certain times during the service—generally the same times when you should not enter the church, such as during the Little and Great Entrances, when the priest or deacon is censing or giving the sermon, or during the reading of the Epistle or Gospel.

 

Candles should be allowed to burn down without being extinguished early, since the burning candle symbolizes our prayers rising to heaven and the light of Christ in our midst. Please teach your children how and why we light candles while being mindful not to let them light candles alone for safety reasons. Here at St Paul’s we have three places where candles can be lit: a large candle box in the narthex and two candle boxes in in front of the iconostasis in the nave. 

 

Venerating Icons

The Orthodox Church teaches that it is proper to venerate (not worship) the holy icons as pronounced by the Seventh Ecumenical Council in Nicea in 787 A.D. Please do not wear lipstick when kissing the icons.

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Additional Pious Customs

 

Crossing oneself

It is always appropriate to cross oneself at the mention of the Holy Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; whenever entering or leaving the church; at the beginning of the Liturgy; when passing in front of the altar; when venerating an icon, the Gospel, or the cross; and at times for personal petitions. It is not necessary to cross oneself when the priest is giving a blessing or censing the congregation. Instead, one should bow to receive the blessing. 

 

Bowing

Orthodox Christians bow when the names of the Theotokos and Christ are invoked. They also bow to the priest at his blessing, and when he asks forgiveness before the Divine Liturgy begins, before the Great Entrance, and again before Holy Communion. It is traditional for the Orthodox faithful to bow and cross themselves when they enter and leave the church, and when they pray before the icons.

 

Kneeling

In some Orthodox traditions there are times when kneeling is a pious practice in the Liturgy, the most notable being at the Consecration of the Holy Gifts. However, kneeling is prohibited during the Paschal season, from Pascha to Pentecost, as well as on Sundays, in honor of the Resurrection.

 

Touching the priest’s vestments

It is a tradition in some parishes to touch the hem of the priest’s vestment or phelonion as he passes by in procession. At St Paul’s, this custom is discouraged. 

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Special Considerations During Services

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Refrain from socializing during the services

Save your greetings and conversations during the time reserved for fellowship. We come to the church to greet God with our prayers and worship, not to distract others.

 

Texting is never allowed in the church

If you need to keep your phone on for an emergency while you’re in church, it would be best to stand near the door to the narthex or in the narthex itself. Otherwise, please do yourself and others the favor of turning off your phone before entering the nave to allow for your time worshiping to be as undistracted as possible.

 

Lipstick 

As stated elsewhere, do not wear lipstick while taking Holy Communion, or when kissing the cross, an icon, the priest’s or bishop’s hand, or any sacred object. You might consider not wearing lipstick at all in the church. Lipstick looks terrible smeared on icons, crosses, the communion spoon, and the priest’s or bishop’s hand. Hand-written icons have been ruined by lipstick; and even though the cross or spoon can usually be cleaned after everyone venerates, it’s not very considerate to those who follow. 

 

Leg crossing 

In many cultures throughout the world, crossing ones’ legs is taboo and considered very disrespectful. In North America there are no real taboos against such action, rather, we tend to cross our legs to get comfortable. Should we do so in church? No. Not because it is “wrong” for us ever to cross our legs, but because it is too casual, too relaxed, for being in the presence of God. Would we cross our legs when we meet the King of England? Would we cross our legs in front of a judge? Would we cross our legs when talking to the president of the United States? No. And, we shouldn’t cross our legs when we’re in the house of God. Also, please be aware that people from some cultures are offended by the crossing of legs or by arms behind the back. Keeping your feet on the ground also enables you to remain attentive and to stand when necessary.

 

Leaving and Re-entering the Nave

Parents should have ready access to the doors to take small children out of the nave or even outside if necessary if they are distracting or need a short break—for this reason the door to narthex is to be accessible. Please avoid the temptation to congregate around the door to the narthex. It should go without saying that adults and teens should be able to hold their place for the entire time, with moving around or going in and out of the nave during the entire time of the service. 

 

Receiving the Antidoron (Blessed Bread)

Antidoron (literally translated, “instead of the gifts”) is handed out after communion at two stations: one next to the emergency exit on the “north” side, and one at the bay window on the “south” side. Antidoron is also given out at the kissing of the cross. When receiving the blessed bread, be mindful not to allow the crumbs to drop, since this is blessed bread. Children will need assistance so that they do not take too many pieces, and so they are not careless in handling the bread. 

 

Leaving Church

The respectful protocol is to leave the church only after the dismissal and venerating the cross. If you choose to leave before this, please exit the church quietly and refrain from conversing until after you have exited the nave.  We should begin church together, and leave church together. It is a blessing for all to begin and end the Divine Liturgy together. Upon exiting the church, it is customary to face towards the altar, bow, and make the sign of the cross.

 

Church Clothing

When we come to church we should remember that we are entering the house of God. This requires that we dress modestly and with reverence. Generally, his will mean that we want to wear our best clothing. At any age it is not appropriate to wear shorts, pants that are too casual, short skirts, tight-fitting or transparent garments, garments with low necklines, or strapless tops. Some Orthodox traditions require women to wear dresses or skirts with covered shoulders and backs. Although men are not required to wear a suit and tie, they will want to make an effort to dress as if they were going to an important event. Clothing with logos or printed material distracts others from praying. Some women have the pious tradition of covering their heads. Men and boys must remove their hats when entering the church. What could be a more important meeting than that with God Himself? The purpose in choosing our clothing wisely is that we model what is important to us by how we dress.

 

Photography in the Church

Whenever photography will take place during a service at an Orthodox church (including special events such as weddings and baptisms), please make sure to instruct photographers to consult the priest first. 

 

Children in Church

Christ said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for such is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 9:14). It is possible for young children to remain in church throughout a service if they are taught to be quiet and respectful. Many parishes have cry rooms or nurseries for those who are too small to be quiet throughout the whole Liturgy.  We have St Nonna’s Room, a small area just outside the nave on the right.  Please be respectful to those around you if your child becomes fussy or out of control, and remove them from the nave of the church quickly. If a very young child needs a snack, please pick up any leftover pieces. Never allow a child to have anything in their mouth when they come to Holy Communion.

 

It is never appropriate to allow a child to run in church, to roam about during the services, play loudly, or carry toys that make noise. Eventually, children will be able to spend longer times in the Liturgy. Inside the church, praying is where everyone, including children, should be. It’s important that children do not get the impression that coming to church is a time to play. Plan to have your children use the restroom before church begins, and don’t allow them to come and go continually. 

 

Parents often bring little snacks for young children to keep them occupied and quiet in church. This is fine as long as it is discreet and quiet and the parent sees to cleaning up any leftovers. By the time a child is 3-4 years old this will most likely be unnecessary. And by the time a child reaches age 7 they are mostly capable of fasting the entire morning of Holy Communion (or at least cutting back on breakfast).  Chewing gum is never appropriate in church. Consider bringing your children into the church at a time when the Liturgy is finished to “practice” church behavior. Teach them that they are visiting God’s very special house, and they will need to have very special manners there.

 

Above all: “In all things give glory to God.” 

Our American culture of the 21st Century is rather casual and very individualistic in its approach to life. Dress, music, language, values, morals, and entertainment all reflect a trend to “downgrade” life from what God intended it to be. We mustn’t allow this prevailing tendency to enter into our Christian piety, whether at home or at church.  And having, fostering and recognizing Christian piety, should not be seen as a “bad thing.”  Most church etiquette is based on simple common sense and a respect for God and others. We are in church to worship God in Holy Trinity. The priest announces, “In the fear of God, with faith and love, draw near.” If we approach our lives and our worship together with this in mind, then we will be people of proper church etiquette.

 

Adapted from Holy Transfiguration Church, Colorado, and the Antiochian Archdiocese documents on Church Etiquette.